Okay. Sometimes I just need a reality check with the whole "Am I a grown-up or not" thing. A conversation with an Italian friend this weekend provided just that. I should probably clarify that this guy is married, does his share of the housework, is great with taking care of his young daughter, and in general is a non-machismo type of regular dude. Our conversation went something like this:
HIM: My brother [who is in his early 40s] still lives at home with my mom. I think he is reluctant to get move out because my mom does all his cooking, cleaning, laundry.
ME: Your mother doesn't mind having to take care of him?
HIM: That's the way things are here. In Italy, everyone just lives with their parents until they get married at whatever age that might be and until then our moms take care of everything. I had never washed a dish, cleaned my own clothes or made my own bed until I got married. I really liked ironing for the first few months of our marriage because I had never done it before. The novelty was kind of fun.
ME: Right. And your wife had to teach you how to do all of that stuff?
HIM: Oh, yeah. Still to this day, my mom does all of the cooking and cleaning when I visit her at home. She makes my bed every morning, cleans my room, puts socks on my feet when I'm sleeping so I won't get cold. It's great to have dinner made for you every night and then just get up when it's over and not worry about cleaning up.
ME: And this doesn't bother you?
HIM: No. I like knowing that my mom loves me so unconditionally.
ME: This doesn't undermine your self-image as an independent, self-sufficient adult who is capable of functioning in society without the help of his mother?
HIM: What now?
ME: Never mind.
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