Out with a whimper

Today officially marks my last day at this internship. I have avoided remarking on my work and the FAO up until now mostly because it has been rather lacklustre. I sit in an office, work on a computer, occasionally attend meetings. My supervisor and boss are both wonderful professionally and personally, but they both left a few weeks ago for vacation. Most employees here have actually departed for August holidays which has left the labyrinthine halls of this office building eerily quite and empty.

I have been moderately pleased with the internship, mostly because it has allowed me to be in Rome for the summer and has put little pressure on me as far as workload. I'm not sure how much professional development it has helped me with, however.

I would be more pleased with the end of this whole thing had I not received an absolutely confidence-shattering email from someone outside of FAO criticizing the report I have been working on all summer and basically questioning my knowledge of agricultural systems and policy. Since I have been debating whether this is an area I am qualified to work in or even interested in pursuing, the email hit a sensitive spot and has cast a pall over what otherwise would have been my neutral-to-positive feelings over this internship.

I don't mean to say that I am leaving with ill-will or bad feelings. It's just that I have been putting off thinking about my educational and career choices for much of the summer and now I am reminded that this hasn't been a perfect fit for me. I am trying not to let my wounded pride over this email color my desire to finish this degree, but it does touch on some of my misgivings and insecurities about my lack of passion about this subject matter and my relative inexpertise.

But I will have time to consider all of that when I am back in the States. Until then, I have lunch plans to bid farewell to friends at FAO, dinner/drinking plans with friends after work and then a weekend in Pompeii followed by a week in Croatia. Wish me well on my travels and I'll see you back in the U.S. of A.